Tina benias

Am I still the Wellness Wanderer?

Day 4: It’s probably time to state the obvious…where is The Wellness Wanderer?

If you are reading this article you either

A) Are a fan of The Wellness Wanderer

or

B) You have been spammed from my personal Facebook Page (sorry and you’re welcome)

I guess it’s pretty important for me to address what’s going on here. Obviously, I’ve started a new site and have been slowly transitioning the WW Facebook page to align better with my actual-real-human-identity. Why? Well, in a nutshell, I felt like I could not live up to the name of Wellness Wanderer so I’m kicking it to the kerb and embracing myself- icecream eating flaws and all.

The Wellness Wanderer was an alter-ego I set up in 2014 to share the things I was learning when I was studying naturopathy. I was on an exciting journey and I was busting at the seams to share it all and answer all the questions I was getting on a daily basis. I was evolving and so was WW, and then…it wasn’t anymore.

The beginning of the end…

I joined forces with Shelley, a beautiful soul-wellness-unicorn and created Freedom Wellness, which replaced my individual identity of the WW. This experience was amazing but in the depths of this amazing partnership, I started to change. My home life and mental state started to crumble around me and the more I tried to hold it together, the worse it became. I stopped writing, I stopped cooking, I stopped socialising and worse- I stopped studying. The hours I used to spend listening to podcasts, reading medical studies and submerging myself in the general world of naturopathy suddenly stopped and in all honesty, I didn’t give a shit. I felt so crushed by the ‘wellness ideal’ I had imposed on myself and I felt like a fraud. I turned into a pretty shit business partner and literally had nothing more to give.

The turning point

It was at this point, August 2015 to be specific, that I ran away to Greece and spent 5 weeks with my Dad on the island my family is from- Meganisi. I spent those 5 weeks mostly alone, reconnecting with myself. I walked a lot, swam, ate family food and just relaxed. The pressure to live up to this ‘wellness ideal’ was gone and I was able to reconnect with the culture and traditions of my background. I ate baklava without worrying about the social implications and pita bread with tzatziki was no longer something that I feared. I felt free and I needed to find a way to maintain this feeling when I returned home.

It was out of this trip that I decided to end my 3-year relationship, quit my study, move house and sell my half of Freedom Wellness. Amazing what a little bit of time alone can do.

Where am I at now?

Well, for starters, I have learnt a fuck-load about myself. Honestly, I’ve learnt more about myself in the past 11 months than I have in my lifetime. I’ve lost friends, ruined relationships, hurt a lot of people (including my family) but it all had to be done. Change is hard and it hurts like crazy but what I’ve got now wouldn’t exist if I didn’t go through the mud. I was forced to stand in front of myself and face demons that I had been keeping at bay by way of distraction and denial. They were vicious and I barely made it out alive. But looking back at who I was last year versus who I am now I don’t even recognise Tina 2015.

I am so grateful (not like hippy gratitude “I’m going to write it down every day grateful”- those people really annoy me), I am fundamentally thankful for the life I have now and for the amazing support of my family and friends. Seriously, I have put my parents through absolute hell and they still love me. Fuck! If I were them I would have committed me by now! Bless them. And my friends,well, you lot know who you are. You’re the ones who talk me out of the tree every other week and you’re the ones who have the courage and love, to be honest with me. Lastly, I am grateful for the most amazing man I have ever met. Love of my life, actual soulmate- Peppe. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but oh my God you have completely changed my life and taught me what real love is.

Will you stay?

Ok enough, enough Tina, calm your farm.

So, if you have zero interest in real life, crazy tales and human adventures then you may want to consider un-liking my page because it certainly won’t be morphing back into what it was before- sorry. I do, however, hope that you stay because I think that we can have a lot of fun together.

 

Signed,

Tina Benias

Greek food enthusiast

Hopeless love fool

Changer of paths

 

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